#017: Smile and cringe at September in New York City
Some musings, a playlist and a recipe to try right now before it gets too cool.
This month marks my 10 years of living in New York. Fucking wild, I know. I’ve decided I’m going to throw a ten-year anniversary party later this month, and I’m sure I’ll better articulate then just how I feel about being “a real New Yorker”, as they say for anyone who reaches this milestone. For now, the overwhelming feeling I possess is pride. I’ve come a really long way! And while there is always criticism laying dormant about where I could be or what I could have furthered, I’m going to let myself sit in this pride that is my first gut feeling about my time here. I feel pride in myself, the network I have built, the relationships I have fostered, the life I worked to create from the very first day I moved into my dinky little dorm on 14th street with a roommate who never let me sleep in and housemates who were so messy I had to enforce a chore cycle on them. A really long way!
So this particular September, with all its usual symbolism that signifies a return to society as we know it, is a meaningful one. And though summer technically runs through September 23, to me—and everyone else, it seems—summer ends on Labor Day weekend. I always find myself going into a great big deep depression this time of year but in a rare occurrence, I’m here for it. Not like soooooo here for it, but here for it enough. My epic seven week-long European summer needed to end in order to ground myself back into reality. Life this summer was so magical that I had to constantly check in with myself that I was breathing and actively enjoying every moment instead of freaking out at how unreal it all felt. I didn’t try and capture every moment like one usually does on a vacation that deserves boasting. Instead, I took very deep breaths, the kinds of breaths that blanket you with warmth. The kinds of breaths I don’t have the privilege to take when work overwhelms. Turns out, posting every moment from vacation doesn’t affirm the greatness of any experience - you just need to breathe. The magic of this summer still lingers, as I’m sure it will for as long as it is warm, but I feel grounded now.
I’m back in New York and slowly getting settled into a new apartment in Tribeca that still lacks a couch, a tv, a dining table, a desk and a knife to cut my sourdough bread every morning, among other things… but I’m here, as settled as I can be.
I’ve been spending the past few days alone, getting to know the city like I did when I first moved here: aimless, alone and observant and often with a journal in hand. The extreme slowness of these early September days is exactly what I needed to prep me for what’s to come. I was talking with a friend the other day about how this back to school energy is so palpable even as a full blown adult navigating the return to events and work and regularly scheduled programming. How it’s so obvious that we are all suddenly equipped with this renewed motivation and enthusiasm to carry out new goals, new connections and new experiences. It makes me smile because it’s one of those rare unifying moments we New Yorkers get to share. Back to school.
But there is a downside to it all, and this is what makes me cringe. When things gets too serious, too convoluted or self-conscious, the magic of September in New York can be lost. We are a part of an ecosystem that trains us to think and speak in a goal-oriented, success-driven language. Sometimes it can be empowering. It allows us to democratize success while also providing the means to find our purpose in this crazy place. I fear that masked underneath it all, there is an inherent insecurity about performing and it bubbles to the surface when expectations are not met. This seemingly inclusive notion that we are all in this city to hustle, to live the life we dreamt of can feel exhausting, competitive and even demoralizing. This is not a groundbreaking idea I’m presenting; we New Yorkers talk about hustle fatigue all the time. I just feel it to ring especially true during this time when we’re all getting back into it. More notably and specifically, for me, during fashion week, when fashion girlies (and boys) are reduced to show invites, seat assignments and parties no one even has fun at anymore. I suppose we signed up for it all. A discernible effect of the collective sensibility we’ve adopted when we chose to make this city our home and this industry our kin.
Squished spotted lanternflies dot the city’s sidewalks from the mass collective effort to eradicate the bug harming our plant life. Tourists have slowly dissipated, welcoming New Yorkers to pick up the pace again. Early mornings now have a slight tinge of chilliness (apart from the impending heatwave this week) and I smile at any sight of a sweater. If there is one thing that brings New York together, it’s September. I’m smiling and cringing at everything happening knowing we are all just trying our best. I am most certain that it is always empathy and kindness that will foster empowerment among us as a larger collective. I’m rooting for you all. Welcome back :)
Tomatoes are still abundant at the farmer’s market. I’ve made this sungold tomato pasta for 3 meals this week and it may be the simplest, most delicious thing I’ve made for myself. A literal manifestation of sweet, sweet late summer. I hope you can take advantage of the last weeks of tomato season.
This recipe served just me :) but if you are a home cook who gets the gist, disregard to measurements and do as you would with intuition!
Ingredients:
3 tbsp olive oil
salt
sungold tomatoes or cherry tomatoes (I like mixing both)
spaghetti
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1/4 cup pecorino cheese
1/2 tsp red chili flakes
4-5 basil leaves, torn into pieces
Steps:
Heat 2 tbsp oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add tomatoes, garlic, and red pepper flakes, salt, and cook swirling pan often, until tomatoes blister and burst. Use a utensil to press down on tomatoes to release their juices. Turn off heat and set aside!
Boil however much pasta you will eat. Season with salt and stir occasionally. Keep track of time! Drain pasta and save 1/4 cup of pasta water.
Transfer pasta to skillet with tomatoes; set over medium heat. Add 1/2 cup pasta water. Stir and toss the pasta until sauce thickens and begins to coat the pasta, about 1 minute.
Stir in remaining oil, cheese, and basil and toss until sauce coats pasta and pasta is al dente. Season with salt if needed, more cheese if you like and crushed black pepper if you desire. Enjoy!
And finally, a playlist to carry you through this month!!!!!